Fanaticism! It's not just for the Muslims.

The Christians have fanatics as well.

"I propose that sports greatly hinders the development of godly, Biblical, feminine character."

"I think we should be very cautious about Greek-like influences."

Yeah, this democracy thing really sucks, don't it?

George Lucas = Tool

Goddamnit George Lucas. You suck.

News is starting to filter out about the third Star Wars movie.

Lucas says "This one's a little bit more emotional. We like to describe it as 'Titanic' in space. It's a tearjerker." Titanic in space. Is he trying to drive EVERYONE away from the theater? First off, no Star Wars fan wants to see a movie described as "Titanic in space." They want action and lasers and wookies and death stars and light sabers. Not Leonardo Di-freakin-Caprio. And not a tearjerker. The last time a Stars Wars fan cried is when they saw the previous movie. Second, would anyone, ANYONE want to watch "Titanic in space"? It's like a bad SNL sketch. Really. That sounds like the worst idea for a movie since ... Ok, there's been some really bad movies recently, but that's still a horrible idea. Not quite as bad as making a spinoff movie "Jar-Jar Hamlet", but he's pushing the borders.

Lucas says "Obviously, fans would love to see a movie about Darth Vader running around killing people. I'm not telling that story, and I'm not interested in that. That's not what the movie is." Obviously, people would like an action movie to have some action. But I'm not interested in that. I really think an action movie needs more horrible dialogue. Ok... George... listen to me. The original Star Wars was the most successful trilogy ever. (Lord of the Rings may overtake it eventually, but for now, you can probably agree.) Instead of using what worked in the original Star Wars movies that made them incredibly popular (namely action and a good plot), you create a kiddie movie, a love story and a tearjerker.

Goddamn Titanic in freakin' space. Mark Hamill is rolling over in his grave as we speak.

PS: "The intensity of the action and themes in 'Revenge of the Sith' probably will earn it a PG-13 rating, Lucas said. The first five 'Star Wars' movies all were rated PG." Can someone explain to me what the difference between PG and PG-13 is? I've never actually understood this.

Grand Theft Bouncy Castle

British police are investigating the theft of 12 'bouncy castles' whose owner claims they were stolen as part of an illicit international trade in inflatable attractions."

Yes. The article says "illicit international trade in inflatable attractions." Read it again. It's still funny. The article makes the owner sound a bit like a crack pot... and I tend to agree with it. "Illicit international trade in inflatable attractions."

Gropenfuhrer

An 87-year old "strip-club figure" has been convicted of groping a woman in a strip club. I wouldn't normally link to this article, except for this bit of information:

"In a bizarre moment before the judge entered yesterday's hearing, the cellphone of an investigator for Colacurcio's attorney rang loudly in the courtroom, emitting the theme of the film 'The Godfather.'"

Ok. That's a bad sign.

Google Search

I use Firefox as my browser. Firefox has a cool search bar on the tool bar that allows you to search a number of sites without going to their home page (i.e., Google, Wiki, Amazon, etc.) I use the google search all the time, especially for this blog. Using this search means that the most recently searched item stays up there till I change it, delete it or quit Firefox. Which causes me to do a double-take pretty much everytime I look at it.

Currently in my google search bar: "bible mutton"

mmmm... bible-flavored mutton. Where's my pillar of salt?

"Would Jesus eat potato chips? No."

Some people have turned to the bible diet to lose weight. A lot of this makes sense - cut down on processed foods, steam vegetables, eat whole grains, increase exercise. Isn't that what most diets tell you to do?

The issue I have is that someone is charging $140 for this. Bible bars? I don't think Jesus ate bible bars.

And yes, I realize Jesus would not eat potato chips. But what if someone was waving a mutton shank around... or Ibex? What would Jesus do, indeed?

Happy Cows Come From California

I may have to rethink my opinion on those cheese commercials.

The People's Court

You've really got to read this article. There is no way to explain it adequately. I haven't searched EBay for it... but if you've got a spare $71 lying around, I suggest you check it out. It may have been taken down by now though.

"What? Who's at the door? Mr. and Mrs. Visigoth? I don't know any Visigoths."

Tastes Like Chicken

Chicken chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken chicken, chicken chicken? Chicken. Chicken chicken; chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken chicken.

Neon Deion Dog

Deion Sanders, the once and future NFL player, is hocking a hot dog machine. Apparently the rollers are a "unique design." If unique means "present in every convenience store in America." The design creates great tasting food because the fat "drips away, leaving a juicy, but not greasy meal." Ohhh... so fat drips away, but those wonderful juices are immune to drippage. All this for only $50 plus $10 shipping.

Hot dogs are absurdly simple to cook and can be cooked in so many ways. If you have a microwave, you can use that. If you have a pot, some water and some heat, you can boil them. You can grill them. If you didn't have water, you could still throw them on a hot pan. In fact, most hot dogs come pre-cooked, so you could even eat them frozen. Consider it a hot dogsicle. Not that I've ever done that... *cough*.

Also, its virtually impossible to screw up a hot dog. It's not like steak that you could overcook and it would become tough. It's prechewed! As long as you don't turn them into charcoal, you're fine.

She May As Well Just Change Her Name to "Conservative Hack"

Michelle Malkin. Ugh. In this column, she manages to blame "cutting" - the generally teenage act of self injury - on both "EMO" music and Hollywood. Hey, I liked NIN and Marilyn Manson and Rage against the Machine as a kid - actually, I still do. But the only self injury I've ever performed is throwing myself at the ground at high speed in order to catch a small plastic disc.

If you want a better counter-argument check out this post and this one.

The scary thing is, Malkin isn't even the worst columnist on townhall.com. If you really want to feel sick, you should check out Doug Giles. Hitler was a product of gun control. Christians can't be liberal, and vice-versa. Pit bulls are strong and poodles are weak. (And if you really think that last one isn't chauvinistic - at the end he refers to all poodles as "Ms. Poodle.")

We're Number 2!

American school children aren't the only morons out there. Japanese school children had trouble locating North Korea, Iraq, even the good ole' US of A on a map. The nerve! Why it's right there on the map below... uh... that country ... the one where Celine Dion is from... you know, they have a lot of trees. And it's above... um... Margaritaville... or whatever it's called.

Japan... ha! They're real snooty for a country that's shaped like a boot. I'll take them seriously when they learn to drive on the right side of the road. U S A! U S A!

All's Well That Ends Well

Remember that flaming pile of ... manure? Well, it finally was extinguished. The owner blamed it on combustible grass clippings. Sure.

While you're checking out the article, click on the picture. Those aren't snow-capped mountains in the distance. Well, I guess they are. But they're not made out of rock. 2,000 tons of cow manure is a lot of crap.

Lockdown

There's been a rash of gigantic thefts recently. First, there was a 12-foot tall, 3,000 pound bell stolen from a Buddhist temple. Now, an 8-foot tall (but only 150 pound) boot was stolen from a Wyoming principal's yard.

The good news is that the boot is back in the safe custody of the owner. The bad news is that this trend is getting me a bit nervous. I think it's time for me to move my 7-foot tall flamingo in from the yard. I'm not quite sure where to store it - the best place seems to be my roommate's bed. He's a heavy sleeper, so I figure I would just move it in there at night when he's asleep. He wouldn't mind, would he?

Now Where Did I Put My Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

For all of you aspiring super villains out there. How to Destroy the Earth. It discusses 14 potential means to destroy the Earth along with other important information such as "take a camera." and "remember to capture the moment." The rest of that guy's site has some good information as well.

Of course, if you do become a super villain, I suggest you read this. It contains important advice, such as "I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X."

Somerville, Somerville, Somerville.

By now, you've all heard about the Gates. (Though, if you're like me, you don't actually care very much about it.) Some guy in Somerville (Yay Somerville!) decided to create his own version of the gates. Maybe it's just me (Ok, it's probably just me), but I'd rather see the Somerville gates than the real thing.