Dr. Bob

This really belongs in the previous post... but I forgot about it. And its late enough in the day that I figured I may as well just make a new post with it.

Dr. Bob. Highlight of the rankings. First of all, the name. As the writer of the review said, "genius." That pretty much covers it. Simple, yet not too simple. Bold, yet not too bold. Innocent, but not too innocent. Kind of like Cheez Whiz.

("For the record, Velveeta is pasteurized process cheese spread and Velveeta Light is pasteurized process cheese product. Cheez Whiz is labeled as pasteurized process cheese sauce, although that type isn't noted in the Code of Federal Regulations. A Kraft spokeswoman confirms that the word 'sauce' just seems to be an add-on.")

Also, Dr. Bob is made by Foodhold, USA, inc. The super-shady, double-secret company that seems to manufacture 50% of the generic products on the market. Foodhold also makes Dr. Perfect (under the Sensational brand) which is so sensational that it ranks a full one and a half cans below Dr. Bob. Does Mrs. Perfect know this?

Finally, there's the can. The first 'B' has a tongue hanging out. Its supposed to look like a mouth. In fact, the likeness is so real, there's even a uvula hanging down. (Think 'tonsil', not 'crotch.') Amazing.

Missing knock-offs update: In addition to there not being a Dr. Teeth, there is also no Dr. Pepper knock-off called Dr. Nick or Dr. Hibbert. Let me know if you can think of any others they're missing.

Ahhh. Mr. Ahhh.

I just found a website devoted entirely to Dr. Pepper knock-offs. It's actually called fakedrpepper.com. Cool. This guy is pretty thorough. I mean, I've only heard of and tried Mr. Pib, but this guy has 102 Dr.'s ranked, plus a few unranked (and a few rumored missing links - Dr. Bigfoot anyone?).

One of the best parts of this website is just the names. Dr. Chill - 4.5 cans. Dr. Thirst - 4 cans. Dr. Best - not the best at just 3.5 cans. Real Dr. - which is not the real doctor. Dr. Furr's. Texas Fizz. Dr. Smooth. Dr. Dazzle. Dr. Perky (?). Dr. Cheaper. Dr. Radical - The favorite of Bill and Ted. Dr. Gulpster. Then there's the oddly named Dr. Whatever. The simply named Doctor. And the two potentially confusing Dr. Country and Country Doctor. The list is impressive to say the least. Alas, there is no Dr. Teeth.

The $28K sandwich

More on the grilled mary sandwich. Slate has an article explaining how it could be possible that a 10-year old sandwich has grown no mold.

And Golden Palace is not sticking to T-shirts. You too can have your face on a grilled cheese sandwich. Why does this feel oddly sacriligeous?

I want it so that when people think shrimp, they think Alabama

Back during the election, there was a proposition on the ballot in Alabama that would amend the constitution to promote the shrimp and seafood industries of Alabama. Apparently, they "hope it will raise awareness of how much the Alabama seafood industry is suffering from foreign competition." Before reading this article, I wasn't aware Alabama had a seafood industry so... uh... I guess it's working. Only fresh, Alabama shrimp for me from now on. In other news, the Alabama constitution has now been amended over 700 times in 103 years.

(In the poll on the right sidebar, Kerry was beating Bush 57% to 35%. Only 225 votes were cast, which must have resulted in the margin of error of plus/minus 20%.)

Further research led me to the website for the North Alabama Shell Club. Did you know that "the last major study on Alabama land snails was performed in the 1920s when Bryant Walker wrote the classic The Terrestrial shell-bearing mollusca of Alabama." I've got that book on my shelf right next to War and Peace.

I also found out that Alabama has a state Renaissance Faire. (The 'e' is included.) They also have a state insect (which is the Monarch Butterfly) and a state butterfly (which is not the Monarch Butterfly). It also has a state soil, a state BBQ championship, a state outdoor drama and a state outdoor musical drama. I think I'm starting to figure out how they got to 700 amendments.

Then again, I come from the state that has a state gem, state mineral, state rock, state historical rock, state explorer rock, state monument stone and state soil. It also has a state poem, a state song, state ceremonial march, state folk song, state patriotic song, state folk dance, state glee club song, state polka and state ode. And none of them is the theme song to "Cheers." Go us.

Also, our state game bird (the Wild Turkey) happens to be the same as the Alabama state bird. Its also a strong and nasty tasting whiskey. Cool.

Before y'all go too uppity, know that even California has a state fife and drum band. And a state bodybuilder. Oh wait, thats your governor.

We're Not Gonna Protest!

So I reaaallly don't wanna make this blog too political. I realize I can't make it 100% non-political. But I'm going to avoid posting too much on these topics. So I'm not going to devote a full post to this. (When I went there there was an ad on the right sidebar for long distance. "Talk is cheap. Souls are not." The company's name was Lifeline. No joke.) And I'm not going to devote a full post to this. (UNICEF wants control of our children? I just thought it wanted us to make crappy paper boxes to store our loose change.) And I'm even not going to devote a full page to the sin tree.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Laughing at monkeys.

I Will Love Him and Pet Him and Call Him George

A company is selling fleece toast.

First of all... toast? TOAST?! "Who doesn't love toast??" You've got to be kidding me... TOAST?! "Now you can love and squeeze and hug your very own piece of toast, for a mere $10.00." I can love and squeeze and hug my own piece of toast for five cents. Then eat it.

Second of all... that doesn't look like toast. No toast i've ever seen is pink, with eyes. And a divot in its head. Who designed this toast? Rothko?

Third of all... that's not even the worst thing they sell.

I Can Die Happy Now

Well, almost. I still need to get one of these. At first I thought I'd just get a regular T. Then I saw that they had value Ts for $10. But that sleeveless one is pretty catchy. Then again, how do I resist the BBQ apron? The Christmas cards might just be perfect... and the poster would look nice on my wall. How do I chose? (only 29 shopping days left till Christmas.)

Really, this might be the perfect story for this blog. Is it too late to name this blog "Golden Palace.com's Virgn Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich T-Shirt Blog?" Look, a lady makes a grilled cheese sandwich. Takes a bite and notices that it kind of looks like the virgin mary. (Though, of course, it looks nothing like any virgin mary I've ever seen. If that counts as the virgin mary, I wonder how many virgin mary grilled cheese sandwiches I've eaten over the years.) After 10 years, she sells it online, through EBay. And it gets bought by an online casino. This casino then uses the likeness of the grilled cheese sandwich to sell T-shirts, coffee mugs and other novelty items online. Said items also include the name of the online casino. I mean, the story has everything - virgin mary, grilled cheese sandwich, EBay, Golden Palace.com. Its a real human interest story.

Now, I suppose it could be more perfect. They could be using the likeness to sell shot glasses and dildos. And the virgin mary could be teaching public school kids about creationism. While holding an assault rifle. And Lil' John and P Diddy could be involved somehow. Something like that might just be enough to convince me that their really is a God. And, oddly enough, convince the entire populations of Utah, Mississippi and Alabama that there is NO God.

Fear and Loathing

Did you know the Patriots are 5-0 when Corey Dillon rushes for 100 yards? Of course, they're 4-1 when Dillon doesn't rush for 100 yards. And in the one loss, Dillon was injured. So they're 4-0 in games that Dillon plays, but doesn't rush for 100 yards. So really... what does that statistic tell us?

Statistics have become my pet peeve recently. Ok, maybe not statistics per se, but bad statistics, unclear statistics and people just plain being afraid of statistics. Granted, its easy to get statistics wrong. But its just as easy to get statistics right. I'm not talking about multiple regression analyses or chi-squared distributions. I'm talking about a little bit of addition, a little bit of subtraction and a little bit of common sense.

You'll start to see what I mean as I post more. In some cases, the mistake is a result of someone clearly not knowing what they're doing (the above example seems to apply). In some cases, its an intentional misrepresentation of data. But in most of the cases, it only requires a little common sense to find the errors. Stay tuned.

Sky Prawn

Can you guess what a sky prawn is? Hint: Two government workers in Australia have come up with a special cookbook entitled Cooking with Sky Prawns. Guessed it yet? How about if I tell you that one of the authors said the "home delivery bush food" was nutritionally superior to beef? Still can't figure it out?

The answer is locusts. Yes. Locusts. What if we renamed some of our common pests as the Australians have? Chicken of the City. (Jessica Simpson would love it.) Flying Rabbits. (Or Airborn Cornish Hens.) How about Ground-Raised Lobsters? (With a little melted butter... Mmm.) Organic Spaghetti? (And Organic Ziti.)

Wow... all this talk of food is making me hungry. Time for some Striped Lamb.

Citroen C4

Cool TV ad. (Its a little bit big, but cool.) Its just the moonwalk and a Micheal Jackson crotch-grab from being perfect.

Genuine, New Iraqi Currency. Delivered right to your door.

You say a free Iraq could thrive? Put their money where your mouth is.

Yes, it has happened. A website is selling Iraqi currency CHEAP! CHEAP! CHEAP! So that you can make MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! Its a NO-WIN situation! I mean... NO-LOSE situation!

Yes YOU TOO can get in on this FANTASTIC OFFER on the GROUND FLOOR. But you must ACT NOW. Civil war is just around the corner.

Where have you gone, Stephen J. Gould?

A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. According to a Gallup Poll, 45% of Americans believe in creationism. In related news, 15% think the Earth is flat and 28% believe the Sun revolves around the Earth. And 51% voted for George W. Bush.

Won't Someone Please Think About The Children?

Holy Hangover, Batman. There are underage kids drinking at a college tailgate!!

This article is amazing. First of all, the Boston Police only caught two underage kids drinking. Thats like a .2% success rate... at best. And did the Boston Police really expect underage kids to not be drinking? This is a college event.

Then there's this... "'From what we could see there is a different way of partying now,' [Capt.] Evans told the Boston Herald. 'They are drinking heavily. They are drinking hard stuff - Jack Daniels, tequila.'"

Woah, woah, woah. This is different? Different from when? The 1500s? "In my day, we used to drink mead out of ceramic jugs. Times, they are a changing."

Then there's this bit: "Later that night, police said they arrested five Harvard students, between the ages 23 and 25, at an off-campus party." Aged 23 to 25... are you sure these are Harvard students? Does this event have anything at all to do with the tailgating?

Finally, at the end of the article comes this: "Evans said he doesn't plan to block traditional tailgating by older fans at Harvard games."

As one of those older fans, I can say that we were just as drunk as the young'uns.

Underage drinking and a rowdy house-party. I've never seen those things happen before. Must've been all that tailgatin' that was goin' on.

Safest Town in America - Newton, MA

A new study has proclaimed Newton, MA to be the safest city in America. Apparently the key to world peace really is potato latkes and manischewitz wine. Do they know this in Isreal?

Though I think jelled gefilte fish and unsalted borscht would be enough for me to kill a man.

"Manischewitz - Deliciously different for over 100 years."

The Complete Theory of Sheep

Nothing too exciting on the internets today. So I'm going to go with a blast from the past. I found this while searching on google for "sheep density." If you want the full story about why I was searching for sheep density, I'll give it to you, just let me know. Its sort of amusing... but not in a "post-on-the-blog" type of way. And yes. I just performed the rare hyphen-quotes double dip. I'm a superstar.

Hellooooo Police State

Welcome to the United Police States of America. This scares me. A great deal. Its one thing to perform questionable searches and seizures ("Legal, illegal? I'm the guy with the gun."). Those things are up to the lawyers to decide whats constitutional and what isn't. But refusing to even show the regulation that allows the search? Holy crap. "We are going to search you. And we are not going to tell you why. Just do as we say, no questions asked." Questioning the government, questioning the laws of the land - that is one of the fundamental properties of a democracy. How do you question the laws, if they refuse to tell you what the laws are?

I'm a liberal. I readily admit that. And I have no love for the current administration. And I'm a little nervous about the Patriot Act. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about the law to know beyond the shadow of a doubt whether its constitutional or not. I have my questions, but no hard answers. A huge issue I have with it though, is the way people tend to defend the Patriot Act. The logic usually goes something like, "The Patriot Act is necessary because it has helped us to arrest terrorists."

Ok, thats great. Good job. But what about people whose rights are infringed, who aren't terrorists? You could enact the Throw Everyone in Jail Act, and that would help us arrest terrorists, too. But I wouldn't recommend it.

In medical studies, there are things called false positives and false negatives. A false positive is someone who tests positive for a disease/gene/characteristic, but is actually negative; a false negative is someone who tests negative but is actually positive. Medical tests attempt to minimize these false positives and negatives. And really isn't that what a good Patriot Act should do? Arresting more terrorists decreases the number of false negatives (i.e., terrorists that are free). That's good. But what if our Patriot Act is increasing the number of false positives as well (i.e., arresting/harassing innocent citizens)? [Hint: That's bad.]

Obviously, these things need to be balanced. A law that decreases false negatives is likely to increase false positives, and vice-versa. Medical researchers understand this give-and-take and adjust as best they can. But by looking at only one side of the issue (more terrorist arrests), you ignore the other side (less rights for citizens). My fear is that this is exactly what defenders of the Patriot Act are doing.

Fix that ‘turkey after-shock’

“Maybe something sassy … like a Captain-and-Fruitcake mixer.”

Jones Soda has created sodas that taste like thanksgiving. Or attempt to taste like thanksgiving. Here's a review.

"How about an entire meal of holiday goodness jammed into five 12-ounce bottles?"

Unfortunately, 3 of the 5 sodas fail pretty bad. Nonetheless, I'd be curious to try them. Now, if only they made turducken-flavored soda.

A Night at the Hip-Hopera

I don't know if any of you have heard of The Kleptones. (I don't really expect anyone too, so don't feel left out if you don't.) They're a band. A lot of their stuff is mish-mashes of other music - similar to what DJ Danger Mouse did with the Beatles and Jay-Z to create the Grey Album. Anyway, they recently came out with A Night at the Hip-Hopera which is a mish-mash of hip-hop with mostly Queen beats.

If you like hip-hop or Queen or the Grey Album. Or hell, if you're just a music fan and looking for something new, check it out. It may not be around much longer, cause EMI is throwing a hissy-fit about it. *surprise* I give it an 11 out of 14.

My First Post

Holy Crap. I didn't expect to get this url. Hell, its even understandable. I mean, previously I had tried almost everything. Even jefe.blogspot.com was taken. By this tool. If you're Jeffrey Cheng, give me your website! You're not using it. Tool.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way. Welcome to Popular Cult. As you may have figured out, Popular Cult is a play on Pop Culture. With the wrong word abbreviated. So its kinda bizzarro pop culture. Which is just the type of pop culture I like.

Now this site won't be solely about pop culture. There might be some politics, or sports... mainly, it'll be whatever the hell I want it to be.

And to honor my first post... from the makers of Crunk Juice comes.... wristbands. WuuuuT! YeAHHH! OooKAAYYY!