"You know, I don't think they have enough meats on sticks."

Ok, so I didn't find any more meats on sticks. (And for the amateur sleuths out there, be careful if you google "meat stick." I'm not kidding.) But I may have found the next best thing.

First, in honor of the super bowl, we have a salami football. This fine example of meat design is accompanied by a Green Bay Packer novelty cheese. Apparently, the salami football is quite the popular design as evidenced by this photo (#15). Right next to that salami football is a salami, shaped to look like a pig (#14). Hmm... now, thats not quite the same as the grilled cheese virgin mary. Or the Jesus fish stick, the Mother Theresa Cinnabun, the two Allah Eggplants or even the Potato Ganesha. Actually, it's nothing at all like them. All of the latter items "clearly show people that our god exists." While the salami pig clearly shows people that some people need better creative outlets than shaping salami.

But in the search for truth, I must go on. For of course, what goes with salami? Why... beer... of course. It even comes with its own zip-up sleeve. Why you'd want to keep your salami cold... or warm for that matter... is beyond me. This item is also quite popular. What further proof do you need than this? Both #2 and #3 in that picture are salamis shaped like beer bottles. In fact, if you look closely, the wrappers even have the PBR logo on them.

Another example of shaped meat is the heart-shaped meat design. And yes... that is a patent for a heart-shaped meat design taken out by Paul R. McHan, Jr. of Monticello, Arkansas. If you're not Paul R. McHan, Jr. of Monticello, Arkansas, don't even think about making heart-shaped meat until at least 2016.

(For the sake of all those concerned, let's just pray that this is the last time I need to google "something about mary meat stick.")